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Douchebag FAQ
Got questions about douching or bigdouchebag.com? Here are some answers.
Q: How do I submit a douchebag picture?
A: See that link over to the left? Use it!
Q: Can I submit a douchebag video?
A: We will embed a youtube video for a donation of $10.
Q: I got your email response with the date my douchebag goes live on the site. Why does it take so long for you to post douchebags?
A: We get tons of douchebag pics. There's a waiting list.
Q: Is there a way to get my douchebag posted faster?
A: Click the "Donate" button on the douchebag home page and send us five bucks. Your pic will jump to the front of the queue (and the top of the page when posted!) First come, first served.
Q: Oops! You posted my douchebag picture, but now the former douchebag has redeemed him/herself in my eyes. Can you take down the picture?
A: No. If you're going to submit a picture, think about it twice before you hit the "Send" button.
Q: C'mon! Please? Won't you take the picture down?
A: No.
Q: What are the requirements for a douchebag picture?
A: It should be exactly 350 pixels wide, at a resolution of 72 dpi and should have a file size of no larger than 40 kB. There should be no names or other identifying information. Do not submit copyrighted images without permission. Do not submit pictures with offensive language or genitals. No female nipples. Etc.
Q: How many douchebag pictures can I send you?
A: One. Do not send more than one image in an email and do not send multiple emails. Decide who's the biggest douche you know and send only one.
Q: How is this legal?
A: We post no identifying information. Our attorneys assure us that if it were against a law to post images of people on the web, most of the websites you visit (facebook, DMZ, etc.) would die. If you don't believe us, have your attorney send an email to the address located on our legal page. We'll begrudgingly pay our legal money-suckers to write a boilerplate response (yet again.)
If your lawyer can come up with a compelling legal argument our attorneys haven't heard yet, we'd consider taking your image down. However, it'd have to be one hell of a precedent to overturn the free speech guaranteed bigdouchebag.com and other outlets by the US Constitution.
Q: Why do you do this, Douchebag?
A: It's fun! If it's any consolation, everybody affiliated with bigdouchebag.com has been listed as a douchebag too. You can find us in the museum of past douchebags. Have a thick skin. This too shall pass. etc. But really, one should wear it as a badge of idiot pride. (we do!) More people than (or maybe as many as) you'd think have submitted their own pictures. It's inane and childish. That's the point. We hope you're able to otherwise find joy in a world with idiotic web content.
Q: How can I make my own douche bag?
A: It's easy. Just check out our douche instructions.
Q: I have a question that's not answered here. Will you answer it?
A: Maybe. Ask it! Just use the same email link you'd use to submit a douchebag.
